


is that something you want?

by TheRealFailWhale



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shadowgast, Sweater buddies, Unfinished and rediscovered, where is this going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 15:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealFailWhale/pseuds/TheRealFailWhale
Summary: okay, i wrote this waaay back when, long before i knew where the story was really going, and i just wanted to imagine a shadowgast reunion.--The Nein meet up with Essek at the frozen Dynasty outpost.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	is that something you want?

**Author's Note:**

> look, i was just going through my docs and came across this very unfinished shadowgast fic. it amused me and it makes me imagine cute things even if i haven't written them yet, so i'm posting it. maybe i'll get inspired to finish it!
> 
> also, like it said in the summary, i started this BEFORE anything really happened in eiselcross. it's what my mind conjured when i thought of the shadowgast reunion, and i will change nothing!

“Oh my gosh, Essek! It’s been so long!”

Jester squealed happily as she ran toward Essek Theylss, and Caleb just stood and watched as his friend swept the drow into a particularly enthusiastic hug. Perhaps it was because they hadn’t seen Essek since the highly dramatic negotiations, but Caleb thought the Shadowhand looked more lovely than ever. White hair sweeping over his forehead, dark mantle and robes waving in the freezing wind.

“It is good to see you, Jester,” said Essek calmly as he extracted himself from the hug. He looked around at the rest of the Mighty Nein and stopped when he saw Caleb. “It is good to see all of you,” he added, looking directly into Caleb’s eyes.

Caleb swallowed and burrowed into his coat as Fjord joined Jester beside the Shadowhand.

They’d only just arrived at the dynasty’s outpost and it was every bit as desolate as the rest of the frozen north. There wasn’t much to see in the white landscape, and the growing snowstorm only made it more difficult.

“Sorry to barge in on you like this, Essek,” Fjord was saying. “I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen you, but when we heard you were in the area it seemed like we had to come visit.”

“Not that we feel  _ obligated _ to visit you, Essek,” Jester said hurriedly, elbowing Fjord. “We’re very happy to see you, it’s just an extra special surprise to see you up  _ here _ .”

“I understand, Jester,” Essek chuckled and he smiled at her. But Caleb thought the drow looked tense around the eyes, and he wanted to move forward and talk to him, to find out what was bothering him. “Won’t you come inside? It’s not much better than out here, but it’s not...out here.” Essek gestured to the small white dome he’d emerged from upon their arrival, but as Beau and Veth moved to enter, Jester interrupted.

“No, no! We should stay at Caleb’s place!” Jester turned eagerly to Caleb and gave him one of her widest-eyed stares. “It will be much nicer than staying in an outpost--though I’m sure it’s very nice--” she said quickly to Essek, but he waved a hand.

“It’s not  _ that _ nice, you’re right. It is only an outpost after all,” Essek said agreeably, and Jester smiled widely back at Caleb.

“Come on, Caleeebb!” Jester pleaded even as she stamped her feet in the cold snow. “It’ll be so lovely to have the kitties bring us hot chocolate and soup and chili and everything. Besides,” she added slyly, her smile turning coy. “Don’t you want to show Essek what you’ve learned?”

Jester had hit upon Caleb’s weak spot. Well, two of his weak spots: magic and Essek. Now that she mentioned it, he did rather feel like showing off to Essek, and what better way than to share the mansion he’d designed?

“Very well, Jester,” Caleb agreed, but waved down her excited squeal. “But perhaps inside, so that we do not have to emerge back into the cold come morning.”

Jester nodded at this and the Nein, Dagen, and Essek moved quickly into the dynasty’s outpost. Inside the dome a path led quickly downward, going below the icy landscape above. Without the wind to blow and freeze, it felt much warmer inside, though the walls around them were hard ice. Essek provided some small talk as he led the way further inside, nodded as they passed various drow and other dynasty citizens.

Veth dropped back to walk beside Caleb. “How are you doing?” she asked quietly, and when Caleb glanced down at her he saw she was watching him with concerned eyes. He looked again to where Essek’s white head was bobbing along at the front of their little pack.

“I am fine, Veth,” Caleb answered, but dropped a hand to her shoulder and squeezed. “But thank you for asking.”

“Alright,” Veth muttered, and Caleb saw that her eyes were also trained on Essek through the others’ weaving bodies. “But don’t do anything rash.”

“What do you think Caleb might do?” asked a deep voice behind them, and Caduceus leaned forward to look at Caleb. “What are you going to do, Caleb?”

Caleb only shrugged but Veth said, “I just don’t want him to forget that Essek is--was?--a traitor and sleep with him, that’s all.”

Caleb stumbled against nothing and glared down at Veth as Cad frowned. “Is that something you want, Caleb?”

He felt himself blush as Veth answered for him. “Oh, of course he does! He’s wanted to for ages, but you know, there hasn’t really been an opportunity.”

“If you two are finished, I believe we have reached Essek’s destination,” Caleb murmured and the three of them stopped with the others inside a round chamber. 

The walls of the chamber were crammed with surprisingly elegant bookshelves, given they were a few hundred feet under ice. Caleb itched to inspect the books and papers scattered around the room, but Essek spoke.

“This is my office, such as it is, while I am posted here,” Essek said with a gesture of his hands. “I can show you to rooms that would serve well enough for a night, but you suggested that Caleb has a better solution…?” He trailed off as his gaze returned to Caleb again, and the wizard swallowed.

“Ja, just give me a moment…”

Caleb directed all his focus on conjuring the mansion as his friends chattered with Essek behind him. He half-heard Beau introduce Dagen and wondered what Essek would think of the dwarf’s impressive chair. With a smile, he finished his casting and the familiar door appeared before him.

“Here we are,” he said, turning around and bowing. When he stood again he caught Essek’s eye and saw that the drow’s face was alight with curiosity. “Shall we?”

He opened the door and waited as his companions entered, Essek bringing up the rear. The drow paused as he reached Caleb, before stretching a hand toward him.

“It is good to see you again, Caleb,” Essek said quietly as Caleb took his hand and clasped it gently. The drow’s fingers were cold, and he automatically brought his other hand up to cover it.

Although it didn’t feel like an adequate greeting, given how pleased he was to see Essek again, Caleb nodded. “You as well, Essek.”

They each released the other’s hand at the same time, and joined the others inside the mansion. Dagen was already floating upward to the guest suite, and Caleb saw that Yasha, Beau, Jester and Fjord were on their way to their own rooms. Only Caduceus and Veth had waited for them.

“Welcome to my towers,” Caleb said as he stuck his hands in his pocket and moved into the vestibule. His heart warmed to see Essek in the space he’d created, especially since Essek looked mesmerized by his surroundings. “Would you like to go straight to the dining hall or--or clean up first?”

It took a few seconds for Essek to stop staring at the entryway, and his eyes were shining when he finally looked at Caleb. “Take me wherever you wish,” he said, voice full of wonder. “This is wonderful, Caleb.”

“Yes, our little Lebbie has gotten very powerful since last we met,” Veth said loudly, joining Caleb in the vestibule and grabbing his hand. “Let’s get something to drink!” And with that she began to float upward, tugging Caleb along with her as she went. 

As Caduceus explained the magic to Essek below them, Veth hissed, “Oh you’re totally going to sleep with him, aren’t you?”

“What are you talking about?” Caleb asked, but he had to tear his eyes away from the drow.

“You’re practically drooling! You can’t stop looking at him!”

His eyes fixed on those of his dearest friend, Caleb squeezed her hand. “Is it so wrong for me to like him?”

Veth opened and shut her mouth a few times as they ascended. When they reached the dining room, she pulled him out and crossed her arms while she stared at him. 

“You’re an adult,” she said at last. “You can do what you want. Just...just be careful, alright Caleb?”

He could see the genuine concern in her expression and he crouched down to her level. “My dear Veth, I promise to be careful with the drow spy who betrayed his country and was briefly allied with the assembly. Ja?”

Veth actually chuckled at his words and poked him in the chest. “Just so long as you haven’t forgotten.”

There was little chance of Caleb forgetting the betrayals in his own past. He wouldn’t forget those in Essek’s.


End file.
